One of the best Xanga entries I've ever read:

God's Grace Is Like a [Helium Balloon]

"I number it among my blessings that my father had no car, while yet most of my friends had, and sometimes took me for a drive. This meant that all these distant objects could be visited just enough to clothe them with memories and not impossible desires, while yet they remained ordinarily as inaccessible as the moon. The deadly power of rushing about wherever I pleased had not been given me. I measured distances by the standard of man, man walking on his two feet, not by the standard of the internal combustion engine. I had not been allowed to deflower the very idea of distance; in return I possessed "infinite riches" in what would have been to motorists "a little room."" -C. S. Lewis

Ahhhhh. Need I say more? <3

If I don't accomplish anything else in life, I have at least this one goal:

I want to become a mother.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but motherhood is somewhat degraded in our society where self-advancement prevails. But do people even realize its beauty, its timeless and sacrificial beauty. I never understood the notion of love until this summer. I still don't, but I'm getting closer to it. Love is painful, and not being able to love is also painful. The former is probably more painful, but I have yet to truly experience that life-long sacrificial love, reflecting God's love for us, that a mother displays for her child. I am so ashamed that I have not been a better daughter; if anything, I haven't been a good one even. I am selfish. I am inconsiderate. I am unnecessarily independent. I am stubborn. I'm glad I've finally realized - I am truly grateful that I have - because through it I've learned of the immense love my parents have for me. It isn't perfect; they're human like me. But it is the closest thing to unconditional. I am so touched and hurt. Hurt because I know that no matter how many times I stumble and fail them, they will always love me; and it hurts to even imagine the pain they will experience. It's not too late, I can still change. But I feel so helpless, not being able to return the kind of love they have for me. Unrequited love, she called it. For now, all I can do is to respond in gratitude. Less of me. I know that when my time comes, I will finally understand their heart, God's heart. And what greater reward is there? What has been my prayer for the last several years? What more can I live for, than to know God's heart?

I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love. -Mother Teresa